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Scummie's Tip: "Weapons of Mass Destruction are often buried. Digging in your flowerbed is a good place to start your search." |
U.N.S.C.U.M.
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| S.C.U.M. FILE 010102 "Bush" |
“MR. PRESIDENT WE FOUND YOUR WMD!”DATE: September 30, 2003LOCATION: Downtown Chicago INTELLIGENCE: An 11-foot missile was found in the Chicagoland area. Hearing that George W. Bush was going to be in Chicago for a $2000-a-plate chicken luncheon, UNSCUM made a courageous effort to bring the president what he has been desperately seeking. |
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FINDINGS: UNSCUM's repeated attempts to get the potentially lethal WMD to President Bush were rebuffed. Apparently, security didn't believe the credibility of their claim or the $2000-a-plate chicken was so good that the president just couldn't be interrupted.
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Fortunately,
several major media outlets did cover the UNSCUM team's heroic efforts
to bring the president his much coveted Weapon of Mass Destruction.
The story made the front page of the Chicago Sun-Times, but as of yet
neither the White House nor the Department of Defense has contacted
UNSCUM. |
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CITIZEN RESPONSE: “Before the war in Iraq , all President Bush talked about was Weapons of Mass Destruction and now that someone has brought him one he is too busy eating lunch to be bothered.”“Well, it is a $2000-a-plate lunch. You'd have trouble stepping away from that too.” —Protesters outside the Chicago Sheraton CERTIFIED WMD FREE: ___Yes ___No X N/A COMMENTS: The fearless leader of the free world is still looking for his elusive Weapon of Mass Destruction. |
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Don't let this happen to you:  |
