“YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE”

DATE: September 14, 2003

LOCATION: Andersonville Neighborhood ( Chicago )

INTELLIGENCE: Taking to heart the axiom that safety starts at home, the UNSCUM inspectors chose their home turf for the first domestic inspection. Andersonville is known for its open-mindedness and acceptance of political dissent, making it a prime target for inspections.

FINDINGS: UNSCUM decided to do a reconnaissance run on the afternoon prior to the official inspection to get a pulse on the neighborhood. As expected, Andersonville was crawling with suspicious behaviors, including people questioning the wisdom of the Bush administration's policies and window signs denouncing war. On the morning of September 14 th , a defusing and dismantling zone was cordoned off at the corner of Clark and Farragut.

Within minutes of commencing inspections, a number of suspicious weapons were discovered. The search apparently yielded a variety of chemical weapons, biological weapons, a “dirty” bomb and a number of conventional weapons.

Citizens were surprisingly helpful, often alerting inspectors to the whereabouts of potential neighborhood WMD. After an exhaustive two hours of searching, defusing and dismantling, Andersonville was declared WMD free.

CITIZEN RESPONSE:

“They're searching for Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

“Ah, political satire.”

And well-deserved!”

—Conversation overheard on Clark Street during Andersonville inspection

CERTIFIED WMD FREE: _ X _Yes ___No ___ N/A

COMMENTS: Upon further review, it was determined that the Weapons of Mass Destruction found in the Andersonville inspections were part of an elaborate hoax, in which dozens of paper-mache bombs were created and filled with talcum powder, potting soil, and ping pong balls—one contained a rubber chicken.

In a press conference held after the inspection, UNSCUM Chief Inspector Rudolf Blixen warned, “Anyone who would spend hours and hours on a hoax of this nature represents a depraved threat more dangerous than actual Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

Certification for Andersonville is on display at Women and Children First bookstore.

“YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE” DATE: September 14, 2003 LOCATION: Andersonville Neighborhood ( Chicago ) INTELLIGENCE: Taking to heart the axiom that safety starts at home, the UNSCUM inspectors chose their home turf for the first domestic inspection. Andersonville is known for its open-mindedness and acceptance of political dissent, making it a prime target for inspections. FINDINGS: UNSCUM decided to do a reconnaissance run on the afternoon prior to the official inspection to get a pulse on the neighborhood. As expected, Andersonville was crawling with suspicious behaviors, including people questioning the wisdom of the Bush administration's policies and window signs denouncing war. On the morning of September 14 th , a defusing and dismantling zone was cordoned off at the corner of Clark and Farragut.
Within minutes of commencing inspections, a number of suspicious weapons were discovered. The search apparently yielded a variety of chemical weapons, biological weapons, a “dirty” bomb and a number of conventional weapons.
Citizens were surprisingly helpful, often alerting inspectors to the whereabouts of potential neighborhood WMD. After an exhaustive two hours of searching, defusing and dismantling, Andersonville was declared WMD free.

	CITIZEN RESPONSE: “They're searching for Weapons of Mass Destruction.” “Ah, political satire.” And well-deserved!” —Conversation overheard on Clark Street during Andersonville inspection CERTIFIED WMD FREE: _ X _Yes ___No ___ N/A COMMENTS: Upon further review, it was determined that the Weapons of Mass Destruction found in the Andersonville inspections were part of an elaborate hoax, in which dozens of paper-mache bombs were created and filled with talcum powder, potting soil, and ping pong balls—one contained a rubber chicken.
In a press conference held after the inspection, UNSCUM Chief Inspector Rudolf Blixen warned, “Anyone who would spend hours and hours on a hoax of this nature represents a depraved threat more dangerous than actual Weapons of Mass Destruction.” Certification for Andersonville is on display at Women and Children First bookstore.